Bullshit talks, money walks
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White House warning: New Twitter ownership means government could lose control of U.S. media
S A T I R E The White House issued a dire warning this week, reminding the nation that Elon’s continued ownership of Twitter means they now only control 97% of the media. “We can’t overstate how dangerous this is,” said gay black Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “Yes, we still control Facebook, Google, Apple, Instagram, […]
Back in the USSR: Sight of American flag traumatized Griner
S A T I R E Freed WNBA player Brittney Griner has fled back to Russia after seeing an American flag for the first time in months. Griner spotted the flag near the tarmac of Los Angeles International Airport upon the arrival of her flight from Russia and had a negative reaction . . . […]
DOJ code of ethics: Stay focused, no matter what
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FBI on alert amid reports of widespread Christian Nationalist activity
S A T I R E The FBI has dispatched surveillance teams after several reports surfaced of Christian Nationalists planning to spend a day thanking God for His blessings and praying for America. “Looks like the turkey’s hit the table, boys,” reported Agent Schwartz to the tactical team. “That means the praying will be inbound […]
150 years later, Thomas Nast cartoon stages comeback
S A T I R E In school we all learned Thomas Nast’s cartoons took down Boss Tweed and early big city corruption rackets and that is why they want to ban you from making memes now . . . [Jack Posobiec on Telegram] More
Big winner in beauty pageant finally puts women in their place
S A T I R E After an intense competition, the winner of a local Miss America beauty pageant for a college scholarship was revealed to be the Patriarchy. Brían Nguyen, the male winner who left twelve female competitors in the dust, accepted his prize on behalf of oppressive, dominating males everywhere. “I’m a beautiful […]
Stocking stuffer: New Greta thermostat scowls if you turn up the heat
S A T I R E Google, the makers of the Nest™ thermostat that totally does not track your every movement and thought, has partnered with climate activist Greta Thunberg to make a thermostat that scowls at you when you attempt to turn the heat up. The Greta Thunberg Thermostat™ also emits an audible, “How […]
There are still actual people voting Democrat, and here’s why
S A T I R E Wondering why people actually still vote for Democrats? Believe it or not, there are still Democrat voters out there and we’ve compiled their top reasons for doing so! __ They’re dead: Hard to object to candidates like Joe Biden when you are no longer alive! __ They’re Drag Queens […]
There’s really only one problem in the nation, but it’s huge
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