S A T I R E
Wondering why people actually still vote for Democrats? Believe it or not, there are still Democrat voters out there and we’ve compiled their top reasons for doing so!
__ They’re dead: Hard to object to candidates like Joe Biden when you are no longer alive!
__ They’re Drag Queens worried about losing their God-given right to dance in underwear in front of kids: It’s in The Constitution.
__ Still holding out for one of those free Obama phones: An iPhone 6! NICE!
__ To convince others that they aren’t Christian Nationalists: They’re one of the “good” Christian
__ Their mail-in ballot was already filled out in permanent marker: Now that’s strange! Mail-in voting is the most secure kind of voting!
__ Government spending and taxes make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside: As if we know how to spend our own money. The government knows best!