There are still actual people voting Democrat, and here’s why

S A T I R E


Wondering why people actually still vote for Democrats? Believe it or not, there are still Democrat voters out there and we’ve compiled their top reasons for doing so!

__  They’re dead: Hard to object to candidates like Joe Biden when you are no longer alive!

__ They’re Drag Queens worried about losing their God-given right to dance in underwear in front of kids: It’s in The Constitution.

__ Still holding out for one of those free Obama phones: An iPhone 6! NICE!

__ To convince others that they aren’t Christian Nationalists: They’re one of the “good” Christian

__ Their mail-in ballot was already filled out in permanent marker: Now that’s strange! Mail-in voting is the most secure kind of voting!

__ Government spending and taxes make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside: As if we know how to spend our own money. The government knows best!

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