White House warning: New Twitter ownership means government could lose control of U.S. media

S A T I R E


The White House issued a dire warning this week, reminding the nation that Elon’s continued ownership of Twitter means they now only control 97% of the media.

Karine Jean-Pierre: ‘This is dangerous to democracy.’

“We can’t overstate how dangerous this is,” said gay black Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “Yes, we still control Facebook, Google, Apple, Instagram, YouTube, ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, The Washington PostThe New York Times, Hollywood, TIMEUSATodayThe Wall Street Journal, and pretty much all the rest, but we don’t control Twitter. This is dangerous to democracy.”

The entire intelligence community at the CIA, FBI, and NSA concurred with the warning, stating that “Elon’s ownership of Twitter leaves America vulnerable to dangerous opinions we do not approve of.” …

At publishing time, several watchdog groups had underscored the warning, pointing to a 128% increase in exposure to unapproved opinions since Musk’s Twitter purchase.

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