Biden wears no clothes; Media praise his style

Biden wears no clothes; Media praise his style

FUNNIES KISSIMMEE, FL — Joe Biden was taken out of the cooler in his campaign bus to give a speech at a campaign stop today, but oops! He forgot to put on clothes. No worries for the Biden campaign, though. The media quickly praised his “regal” and “elegant” outfit, calling it “majestic” and “presidential.” “Look […]

What is God’s problem? California leaders reduced penalties for pedophiles, expected blessings

What is God’s problem? California leaders reduced penalties for pedophiles, expected blessings

FUNNIES SACRAMENTO, CA—California is currently on fire, having also been plagued by darkness, earthquakes, and hippies. State leaders are claiming they have “no idea” why God keeps lighting them on fire, though they just voted to reduce penalties for pedophiles in the name of equality for the LGBTQ+ community. “It’s unclear here what exactly we’re being […]

Disney slightly edits Mulan for foreign audiences: Stay-at-home heroine wows husband

Disney slightly edits Mulan for foreign audiences: Stay-at-home heroine wows husband

FUNNIES BURBANK, CA—Disney has announced that the live-action movie Mulan will be undergoing some changes before its international release. This decision comes as a part of the company’s initiative to make movies that are more inclusive for foreign markets. “We were excited to tell this story of a brave, young, empowered woman, who defies cultural norms and […]

Voila, the solution! Mail-in debates

Voila, the solution! Mail-in debates

FUNNIES Democrats have agreed to allow Biden to debate Trump, but they are proposing an exciting, new mail-in format where both candidates will mail their responses back and forth to each other. “Mail-in debating is safe and secure, and it will give our candidate ample time to formulate a response, with some assistance, over several days,” […]

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