Corporate priorities
FUNNIES Dilbert.com
Democrats weigh compassionate seminars to reeducate former Trump officials
SATIRE Leading Democrats are pushing for unity in our nation, and they’ve found a new way to implement the unity in a mandatory way: “Unity Camps,” special institutions designed to teach and train Republicans to unify. “There’s nothing that’ll make Republicans want unity more than a nice, relaxing stay in one of our Unity Camps,” […]
Who says Democrats are atheistic Marxists? In miracle, 5 Biden ballots turned into 5,000!
FUNNIES DETROIT, MI — In an event Democrats can only describe as miraculous, a ballot counter has turned an offering of only 5 humble ballots into 5,000 votes for Biden. Poll workers and Biden voters are celebrating the miracle which could put Biden over the top in their state. According to witnesses, a little boy […]
‘Dying wish’: Deeply-moving justification for widespread voting irregularities revealed
FUNNIES The Biden campaign has revealed Joe Biden’s dying wish: to be elected president. According to spokespeople, Biden’s loved ones gathered around him as he laid on his bed in the basement and whispered, “Just… let… me… be… president… of the…. aggggggh….” Eventually, they figured out what he meant: his dying wish was to beat […]
All warfare is based on deception – Sun Tzu
FUNNIES Townhall
Trump the distractor: President seen using statues to interfere with 2020 election
SATIRE In his latest dastardly scheme to suppress the Democrat vote, Trump spent all night sneaking from polling place to polling place setting up statues of Christopher Columbus in order to distract progressives who came to vote for Biden. Chaos erupted when Biden supporters arrived at the polls the next day to find massive bronze […]
‘Dark days’: CNN in mourning over confirmation of ACB
FUNNIES ATLANTA, Ga — CNN is in mourning today after the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett to the U.S. Supreme Court. To recognize this momentous tragedy, CNN President Jeff Zucker has announced that the majestic flag of the People’s Republic of China will be flown at half-mast for the remainder of the day. “This is […]
Stranded survivor on deserted island wore mask continuously for 5 months
FUNNIES The U.S. Coast Guard announced today that they discovered a man who has been stranded on a deserted island in the Caribbean Ocean for over 5 months after his boat sunk in a storm. A spokesman for the USCG reported that this heroic man has been responsibly wearing his mask the entire time on the […]
Come on, man
FUNNIES Townhall
Foreign policy removed as topic for final 2020 presidential debate
FUNNIES Townhall