Job’s comeback renegotiated: How about a $600 stimulus check?

Job’s comeback renegotiated: How about a $600 stimulus check?

SATIRE Despite the scriptural evidence that God restored all of Job’s fortunes after his devastating losses, scholars now believe God actually mailed Job a $600 stimulus check to compensate him for his trouble. According to new evidence, God considered restoring and even doubling all of Job’s property, but after lengthy discussions, he decided six hundred […]

Nancy Pelosi to America: ‘You’re welcome’

Nancy Pelosi to America: ‘You’re welcome’

SATIRE WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a historic compromise, the Senate and U.S. House of Representatives have finally settled on a stimulus package for Americans struggling and out of work. In addition to bailouts, money for pet projects, and payouts to unions, Congress has authorized a very special $5 off coupon to Applebee’s. “We are proud to have come […]

President Trump stuns press with UFO announcement

President Trump stuns press with UFO announcement

SATIRE In a historic press conference, Trump confirmed to the world that extraterrestrials exist and that they are in contact with the U.S. Government. Unfortunately, they won’t reveal themselves until humanity has evolved to the point where they will re-elect Trump as President of the United States. “I know the aliens, talked with the aliens, […]

New monolith mystery: Towering stack of Trump ballots spotted in Utah desert

New monolith mystery: Towering stack of Trump ballots spotted in Utah desert

SATIRE Scientists and conspiracy theorists are baffled after a strange monolith-shaped stack of missing Trump votes was discovered without explanation in the middle of the Utah desert. “RIGGED ELECTION!” tweeted Donald Trump after seeing the news on his Twitter feed. “They found my missing votes! There must be 10 million in that stack alone!” Scientists […]

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