‘Dark days’: CNN in mourning over confirmation of ACB


ATLANTA, Ga — CNN is in mourning today after the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett to the U.S. Supreme Court. To recognize this momentous tragedy, CNN President Jeff Zucker has announced that the majestic flag of the People’s Republic of China will be flown at half-mast for the remainder of the day.

“This is a dark, dark day for our democracy,” sobbed CNN anchor Don Lemon. “It’s so, so very dark that democracy might be dead already. What must China think of us? They are probably so embarrassed for us because the Republicans are mean and hypocritical and our Constitution is the worst.”

All CNN employees will also observe a full minute of silence at noon to recognize the darkness of this dismally dark day for our democracy.