Job’s comeback renegotiated: How about a $600 stimulus check?


Despite the scriptural evidence that God restored all of Job’s fortunes after his devastating losses, scholars now believe God actually mailed Job a $600 stimulus check to compensate him for his trouble.

According to new evidence, God considered restoring and even doubling all of Job’s property, but after lengthy discussions, he decided six hundred bucks was just what Job needed.

“I pretty much lost everything,” Job said. “My kids, my home, my livestock, my health, my livelihood. I lost all of it. But finding out that I’ll get $600 is pretty exciting. Maybe I’ll buy a goat!”