Wake up: Woke analysts challenge outdated traditions

S A T I R E


Sleep is a necessary and universal human activity that is essential for physical and mental well-being. [Is that what you thought? Many exposed to U.S. public education in the 2oth century think sleep is natural and normal, experts say] ….

You can’t be woke if you’re asleep.

However, the history of sleep and the attitudes surrounding sleep are riddled with racist beliefs, practices, and ideas. Sleep has racist roots due to the segregation of sleeping spaces.

Historically, in America, masters slept in the “Master Bedroom,” while slaves slept in the “slave bedroom.” Today, slave bedrooms are known as “guest bedrooms” or “secondary bedrooms.” Yet this rebrand does not remove the stench of racism, which has a long and deeply entrenched history in the United States. …

But this harmful history has not stopped people from sleeping. In fact, despite the fact that one in eight people who die in America dies in their sleep, we Americans continue our sick fascination with rest.

You can’t be woke if you’re asleep. So, if you do not want to be a racist, the solution is clear: stay awake. Forever.

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