S A T I R E
[Out of consideration for the dignity of the Office of the President of the United States, only selected excerpts of a transcript of the Biden dress rehearsal follow and in some cases editors determined that paraphrasing was more appropriate. The former Obama White House official who provided it is a Christian sleeper agent in place who requested anonymity.]
“Folks, I’m using the feds as best I can to destroy my political opponents, but let me be clear: I’m going to have to break more laws and seize even more power if I’m going to stop fascism.” …. “I don’t care if that means a federal takeover of elections, an overthrow of the judiciary — heck I don’t care if I have to use F-15s to carpet bomb every single Republican neighborhood in the country. We will forcibly commandeer every lever of power and communication our nation has — to, you know, defeat fascism.”
President Biden went on to call for the expulsion from democratic society anyone who questioned the integrity of an American election. “If you question an election’s fairness because our intel communities told media companies to bury damaging stories about me, or because COVID was used as an excuse to illegally change voting practices without legislative input, or because the FBI spied on Trump’s campaign after Democrats gave them a bogus dossier — then you have no place in civil society. In fact, while we are at it, if you don’t support abortion through nine months, or the genital mutilation of children, you are an enemy of the state. And we will foment violent protests and assassination attempts to intimidate you — to save democracy.”
After calling Republicans subhuman, evil scum in need of annihilation, Biden then went on to say that America really needs to regain some unity and brotherhood.