New Biden mandate: Gay pray 5 times a day, facing San Francisco

S A T I R E


In yet another step to establish gay stuff as the official state-sponsored religion in the United States, President Joe Biden has signed an executive order instituting the call to gay prayer, ordering it to take place five times every day, with everyone facing toward San Francisco.

“The gay prayer is part of the bedrock of American life,” Biden said in his proclamation. “Each and every American must now kneel down facing the direction of San Francisco and recite the gay prayer. You got that, folks?  . . .

While LGBTQ+ activists cheered the announcement, many Americans voiced their concerns about the prayer. “There’s a ‘gay prayer’ now?” asked concerned citizen David Cathcart. “Who are they praying to? I think I have an idea, but if that’s true, I really don’t want to be praying to that individual, you know what I mean?”

In spite of criticism, the Biden administration remains committed to pushing its public support for gay stuff even further. “The President knows all Americans are on board with this,” said one White House source.  . . .

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