S A T I R E

[Sketch artists can speak loudly and not always nice. In the pre-Woke Disney classic film Bambi, Thumper famously said: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”]

As the Donald Trump criminal trial continued to make headlines … , adult film star Stormy Daniels offered hush money to the courtroom sketch artist to get him to stop drawing her.

The actress and escort raised objections over the artist’s depiction of her as a haggard old woman with a weird lopsided face and long crooked neck. Sources say she sought to pay him off in a last-ditch attempt to minimize the damage he had caused to her public reputation.

“Name your price,” Daniels was overheard saying to the sketch artist during a court recess. …. “My entire image and career are predicated on my looks. Your drawings are killing me. I mean, look at this one. …. My head isn’t shaped like that!”

The artist, who asked to remain anonymous, was unsure if he should accept Daniels’s offer.

“She’s trying to bribe me,” he said. “She doesn’t like the way I draw her. But I’m an artist. I’m not in this for the money. …. No amount of money she offers me is worth more than my artistic integrity.”

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  Zip it: Artist reportedly offered hush money by Stormy Daniels