Just trying to be helpful: Yellen gives Zelensky a key to the U.S. Treasury

S A T I R E


To avoid any future delays in sending billions of taxpayer dollars to Ukraine, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen has decided to make things easier and give President Zelensky the key to the U.S. Treasury.

“It’s simpler this way. Now Mr. Zelensky can let himself in whenever he wants, and help himself to whatever he needs!” said Yellen. “As a government official, I want to help the government be as efficient as possible. This removes all those unnecessary steps that come between Ukraine wanting money and then getting it!” ….

“We thank the American government for the lovely gift of their citizens’ money,” he said. “We promise to put this to good use by killing many Russians and buying lots of cocaine. God bless America!”

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