S A T I R E
The Federal Bureau of Investigation is disappointed by the low attendance at the D.C. rally they organized for Trump supporters Satuday.
In spite of the FBI’s best efforts to lure a bunch of angry MAGA insurrectionists to the Capitol this weekend, only a few hundred FBI agents dressed as MAGA insurrectionists showed up.
“Ivermectin! Get your hot, fresh Ivermectin HEEEERRRRE!” cried one agent selling bootleg Ivermectin tablets from Tractor Supply Company. Unfortunately, he only made a couple of sales to a few other FBI agents from other field offices he didn’t recognize.
“Greetings, fellow Trump supporters,” said another agent. “Let’s go insurrect the government, shall we, fellas? Maybe kidnap Gretchen Whitmer? Whadaya say boys? Say—I sure do love racism!” He was then immediately tackled by three other FBI agents who dragged him to an unmarked van.