Progress: MLB drops ID requirement on alcohol sales

S A T I R E


Major League Baseball has announced that they will no longer be requiring any form of valid ID for the purchase of alcohol at all games.

“We stand firm against racism and will never again require ID, and unfairly restrict people from purchasing alcohol,” said MLB spokesman Doug Wisacre. “Drinks are for everyone and hydration should always be easier to access, not harder!”

“Not everyone has the same level of access to acquiring an ID and we want to create an inclusive environment.” Mr. Wiseacre continued. “That’s why we will serve beer to all fans, no fuss no muss!”

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