S A T I R E
We know that his return is inevitable and that he will soon reclaim the presidency and set right what has gone awry.
Here are [only some of the] things Trump will do when he returns to power:
- Welcome back Mike Pence, just to tell him he’s fired: It’ll be the highest ratings for a single episode of The Apprentice. Maybe ever.
- Invade Afghanistan so he can show how much better he would be at withdrawing from Afghanistan: He’s been dreaming about this one every night when he goes to sleep .
- Finish building that wall, but make Hunter Biden pay for it: Hunter will borrow from Joe, who will borrow from China. 4D chess!
- Make everything at the dollar store $1 again: And abolish the fed.
- Sneak out of the Oval Office for a quick 9 holes: Trump needs to keep his golf skills sharp so he can challenge Putin to a match for the fate of Russia.
- Buy Greenland and make Mexico pay for it: And then drill for oil like there’s no tomorrow.