Forget those ‘baseless claims’: Biden reveals what really happened ‘if I had stolen the election’

SATIRE


Babylon Bee

To commemorate the “completely fair and honest” 2020 election, Joe Biden has announced a brand new memoir called If I Rigged It. The book is already being met with critical acclaim for its compelling description of a totally hypothetical situation where Biden and the Democrats fraudulently steal the election.

“Listen here, Jack — I didn’t steal the election,” said Biden to a group of adoring fans in the press. “But if I had stolen the election, this is how I would have done it. It’s real simple, see? My new book will give you all the dirty details!”

“This book is a masterpiece,” said The New York Times. “Biden, who totally wrote this all by himself, draws the reader in with a compelling narrative of a totally hypothetical story. His prose is artful and engaging. The description of an effort to steal the 2020 election is way more believable and interesting than Trump’s baseless claims. In short, Biden is a genius.”

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