I'm glad to see everybody here is enjoying themselves. Don't think I haven't noticed all the drinking that's been going on. (Laughter.) In my State of the Union address, I said we needed to increase the use of ethanol. (Laughter.)
Well, where should I start? A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my Vice President had shot someone. (Laughter and applause.) Ahhh, those were the good old days. (Laughter and applause.) Sorry the Vice President couldn't be here. (Laughter.) He's had a rough few weeks. To be honest, his feelings are kind of hurt. He said he was going on vacation to Afghanistan, where people like him. (Laughter.)
You in the press certainly have had a lot to report lately. Take the current controversy. I have to admit we really blew the way we let those attorneys go. You know you botched it when people sympathize with lawyers. (Laughter and applause.)
Speaking of subpoenas, it's good to see Speaker Pelosi tonight. (Laughter.) Well, some have wondered how the two of us would get along. Some say she's bossy, she's opinionated, she's not to be crossed. Hey, I get along with my mother. (Laughter.)
But between the Congress and the press, there is a lot of scrutiny in this job. Not a day goes by that I don't get scrutineered one way or the other. (Laughter.) The press is a lot tougher the second term. It's reached the point I sometimes call on Helen Thomas just to hear a friendly voice. (Laughter.)
No matter how tough it gets, however, I have no intention of becoming a lame duck President -- unless, of course, Cheney accidently shoots me in the leg. (Laughter.) Hey, I have 664 days left in the White House. So technically, I'm a temporary guest worker. (Laughter.) Considering what's next -- President Clinton, of course, wrote a very successful presidential memoir, with 10,000 pages or something. (Laughter.) I'm thinking of something really fun and creative for mine -- you know, maybe a pop-up book. (Laughter and applause.)
I'm considering a number of titles -- which do you like? "How W Got His Groove Back." (Laughter.) "Who Moved My Presidency?" Or, "Tuesdays With Cheney"? (Laughter.)
By the way, I'm not sure whether or not Senator Obama is here -- the last I heard he was not coming to the Radio and TV Correspondents dinner -- not enough press. (Laughter.) People Magazine recently had a photo of the Senator there on the beach in Hawaii, his sleek, hairless pecs glistening in the surf. (Laughter.) It shows how biased the press is. Have you ever seen a shot like that of Denny Hastert? (Laughter.)
