Naming that Clinton TV talkathon
New York Ñ Former President Bill Clinton is in the running to host an afternoon TV talk show. And while the networks have yet to meet his ÒpriceÓ of between $30 and $50 million, it looks as if CBS is going to take the plunge and put the ex-prez on daytime TV.
Actually itÕs quite appropriate Ñ he can bring his Òtouchy- feelyÓ level of politics to the afternoon gab-shows thus creating a nouveau form of junk food journalism. The feisty New York Post jibed, ÒBoob Tube Bubba.Ó Clinton can now pursue a career for which he is particularly well suited Ñ talking ad nauseam Ñ while making mega-bucks.
So hereÕs a former President who saw himself as a statesman who becomes an actor. I recall many people who used to smirk over a former actor who became President who emerged as a statesman.
But what to name the show? The proverbial fly on the wall of CBS corporate HQ in Manhattan has flown back to report the short list of names.
LetÕs Make A Deal Ñ probably the best name which evokes the entire Clinton era where stock markets soared, pigs flew, and foreign policy was a simple as saying We Won!
To Tell the Truth Ñ AmericaÕs still waitingÉ..
The Avengers Ñ getting even with Congressional Republicans.
Sex in the City Ñ Need I say more? But too many people are watching.
Six Feet Under Ñ his Presidency once seemed in this state but then rose yet again to always confound its critics.
JAG Ñ A Lawyer Yes, but with no prior military experience.
The Price is Right Ñ one of the mottos of his Administration
Jeopardy Ñ a presidency always on the verge of but somehow beat it.
ER Ñ the State of the Clinton Campaign mode always saved by the Cajun Jim Carville.
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Yes, but Regis if far too nice to be in the same company.
Beverly Hills 90210 Ñ his donor list.
Hollywood Squares Ñ the wider donor list.
Access Hollywood Ñ this could be part of the bigger plan.
The Weakest Link Ñ The Truth.
Big Brother Ñ genuinely wished to play that role, wanting to be a friend and be loved; his VP viewed the term in a more Orwellian way.
Wheel of Fortune Ñ the Clinton era of corporate greed.
The West Wing Ñ Been there, Done that, now can I do it again??
Touched by an Angel Ñ must have been to have always gotten away with it.
Nightline Ñ calling for late night Pizza delivery to the White House.
Beyond Belief Ñ Fact or Fiction? Recalling some of the old post-Monica defenses.
Martha Stewart Ñ She can probably teach Bill and Hillary a few things about investing.
Friends Ñ Friends of Bill (not including communist Chinese arms dealers).
Saturday Night Live Ñ just imagine, but networks canÕt run it in most markets.
Cheers! HereÕs to PT Barnum!
Entertainment Tonight Ñ reruns of feel-good TV chats, announcing attacks on threats to global security such as the Haitian Junta, or missile strikes on SaddamÕs laundry room.
Business Report Ñ Things are only getting better, thereÕs no more economic cycle, and unemployment is down to a historic 300 year low.
Keeping Up Appearances Ñ HillaryÕs Cameo or Òkeeping a straight face.Ó
The Afternoon Soaps Ñ It will be one.
American Idol Ñ ThatÕs It!!!
John J. Metzler is a U.N. correspondent covering diplomatic and defense
issues. He writes weekly for World Tribune.com.
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