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Last Friday in the United States, legislation was signed by President Bush that will allow the FBI to monitor the Internet in the hopes of curtailing terrorism. The new law called the USA Patriot Act was approved by a large majority in the Republican-controlled House of Representatives and almost unanimously in the Democrat-heavy Senate. During the signing ceremony the President said that the Patriot Act would be Òan essential step in defeating terrorism while protecting the constitutional rights of all Americans.Ó Attorney General John Ashcroft remarked during a speech at a mayorÕs conference that the Patriot Act harkens back to methods used against organized crime in the 1960s by Robert KennedyÕs Justice Department. AG Ashcroft reminded mayors and reporters that might have forgotten that under Democrat AG Robert Kennedy, mob bosses and their lieutenants would be Òarrested for spitting on the sidewalkÓ in an effort to keep Americans safe from the violence associated with crime syndicates.

The Patriot Act allows for federal law enforcement to ÒwiretapÓ suspected criminalsÕ instant messages, email and other Internet communications that were previously ignored by legislation written in a time when rotary phones and hula-hoops were common. The main points of the Patriot Act are pretty clear: Terrorists are now officially on AmericaÕs endangered species list and cannot hide on the Internet.

Guess what segment of the American citizenry hates this idea? Yes, the leftist Òcivil libertarians,Ó so-called privacy advocates/conspiracy nuts and convicted hackers have their panties wadded at the thought of better law enforcement. The usual suspects howled last Friday in protest of the Patriot Act, saying that the new law would only take away the freedoms of all law-abiding American citizens. I am not a man wanting bigger government, but IÕm also not blind to the hypocrisy of what is essentially the modern equivalent of the mafia complaining about the powers given to the Justice Department under Bobby Kennedy.

Dozens of Òcyber civil libertiesÓ organizations parroted the same ÒOh, don't kid yourself. This hastily constructed bill can be used against citizens chatting with grandma on AOL rather than just terroristsÓ scare tactic lie to the media on Friday. How could Òcivil libertariansÓ be opposed to legislation allowing the good guys to more easily find the bad guys on the Internet? Because such Òcyber-rightsÓ civil libertarians want nothing less than an Internet where terrorists, pedophiles, thieves and other miscreants are protected by Òfreedom of expression.Ó These non-profit organizations also hate how the Patriot Act could affect their bottom line: WhoÕs dumb enough to contribute large sums of money to the Center for Democracy & Technology (whose executive director claimed that the Patriot Act Òmay prove to be one of the biggest mistakes our Congress has ever made") after they defend the free expression of a 24 year-old Saudi national and grad student of Islamic studies at Columbia University who ran afoul of the Patriot Act after buying 400 tons of ammonium nitrate over the Internet?

The privacy advocate conspiracy nuts at the Electronic Frontier Foundation are worried that under the auspices of the Patriot Act the FBI, CIA, Justice Department, Bush Administration, Microsoft, the Illuminati and the Omega Sector will be snooping through our computersÕ hard drives. The EFF have long contended that online privacy would disintegrate due to the FBIÕs DCS1000 online detection system. The EFF says that the Patriot Act will give DCS1000 (referred to by the EFF and other conspiracy theorist nuts by its menacing original codename ÒCarnivoreÓ) carte blanche to read, catalog and analyze all private citizenÕs emails, instant messages and chat room postings. Undoubtedly, this private data will be dumped into a government-controlled database that will be used for nefarious purposes by the Feds!

Either none of the EFF's computer-savvy lawyers really know how DCS1000 works and that the Patriot Act has a sunset clause requiring a Congressional review of the law in four years or they are watching too much "X-Files." Technically DCS1000 is little more than a specialized packet sniffer, a common network diagnostic tool used by almost every Internet Service Provider (ISP) in the world to analyze digital data. DCS1000, just like any other packet sniffer, is designed to pull out specific chunks of digital data traveling through an ISP and back them up to a hard drive. ISPs like AOL and MSN already use packet sniffers keep their service running smoothly and backup your email messages in case of a server outage. Yeah, a packet sniffer is really scaryÉ Must be the name ÒCarnivoreÓ that freaks people out. Watch:

ÒWoe unto the web surfers who fall into the mouth of the packet sniffer!Ó

ÒWoe unto the web surfers who fall into the mouth of the Carnivore!Ó (AAAAAUUGH!)

It is extremely hypocritical for the EFF to champion keeping digital data private, when they are the most vocal advocates of open source and decryption software. Just a month ago, the EFF battled with the federal government to allow a Russian hacker to freely steal encrypted data out of an electronic document format devised by the Adobe Corporation in the interest of fair use and the free flow of information . Yet the EFF vigorously worked to lift US export restrictions on encryption software sent to Europe, Asia and the Middle East. Sometimes the EFF is for encryption ø sometimes they are against encryption. Sometimes the EFF is for privacy ø sometimes they are against privacy. The EFF and their supporters even pretend they are against electronic junk mail, but as soon as you write about the EFFÕs numerous hypocrisies, they sign up your email address to receive 36 pieces of spam every hour. It might be easier to take the EFF and their supporters seriously if they would be less childish and more consistent.

Hackers are fighting the Patriot Act because of its harsh treatment of their kind. Originally, the Patriot Act categorized hacking as an act of terrorism punishable by a life sentence in federal prison without the possibility of parole (unfortunately, the Patriot Act now only classifies specific forms of hacking as ÒterrorismÓ). Convicted hacker-felon Kevin Mitnick cried to the left-wing British newspaper The Observer that the Patriot Act is ÒludicrousÓ and unnecessary in the war on terrorism. Mitnick said on October 21 that Òterrorists have proved that they are interested in total genocide, not subtle little hacks of the US infrastructure, yet the government wants a blank search warrant to spy and snoop on everyone's communications.Ó Mitnick must selectively ignore facts he doesnÕt like because the Associated Press reported a day earlier that California state Attorney General Bill Lockyer was working with the FBI to determine whether three months of hack attacks that ended September 10 had any connections to Osama bin Laden's terrorist network. Lockyer told the AP that 120 hack attacks targeted California companies, universities and other sites possibly originating in New York. Too bad Lockyer couldnÕt use the powers of the Patriot Act four months ago.

Hackers like Mitnick consider themselves ÒprankstersÓ when they hack into your companyÕs servers and cause damage. To this day, an unrepentant Mitnick justifies his theft of credit card numbers, proprietary software source code and long-distance/cellular phone service as ÒexploratoryÓ and Òmischievous.Ó Hackers never consider themselves terrorists or thieves when they destroy your business and steal your company secrets; they call that Òintellectual curiosity.Ó Say you spend $300 million and four years of research and development on a product. An intellectually curious prankster dresses up in a stolen telephone repairman uniform and pushes past your receptionist saying ÒIÕm from GTE and I got a service call to fix your phones.Ó The merry prankster cons a maintenance worker to unlock the phone room for him where he proceeds to hack into your phone lines and your computer network in the name of Òintellectual curiosity.Ó Soon, your $300,000,000 worth of R&D is on the Internet as proof of an extremely smart little Òprank.Ó This is what Mitnick did that made him a celebrity hacker with book deals, TV appearances, speaking engagements and thousands of zombie-like admirers after serving a few years in detention. Of course Mitnick hates the Patriot Act! He knows that under it he and the criminals like him would have gotten life in a Federal penitentiary.

(BONUS HYPOCRISY: Mitnick hacked into the servers of the New York Times to read the email of the reporter covering his criminal investigation. Mitnick used a packet sniffer to search for words like "trap" or "trace" for his "self-preservation" and evade capture. Of course, Mitnick finds it unconstitutional and downright immoral for the FBI to employ the same methods in the interest of preserving the lives of 270 million US citizens.)

The Patriot Act will curtail criminal activity on the Internet and most Americans will see no change in their web surfing experience. If you support the Patriot Act and wonder what you can say to the civil libertarians who say you advocate unconstitutional searches, tell them that unless you happen to be a terrorist, thief, hacker, pedophile or spy on the Internet, you really have nothing to worry about. To the conspiracy nuts, remind them that they are only wishing that someone would pay attention to them. To the hackers, let them know that it is their turn to fear using the Internet for a change.

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