Unhinging of the Deep State? Nation awaits verdicts on FBI’s 7th floor and the 2020 election
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Well-paid consultants agree: Pence can win with brilliant new strategy
S A T I R E In a bold new attempt to win the 2024 election against Biden, candidate Mike Pence has decided to alienate all 80 million voters who voted for Donald Trump. “It’s about time someone had the courage to say it, so today I will say it: Trump is bad,” said Pence […]
‘I feel badly for Mike Pence . . .’
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Authorities on alert for ‘professional’ credited with burning presidential campaigns to the ground
S A T I R E Federal authorities have begun a massive manhunt for an arsonist who on Friday completely torched three presidential campaigns. “He left nothing but ashes,” said Chief of Police Ron Miller. “All three campaigns were burned to the ground in a matter of hours. We’re dealing with a professional.” Related: GOP […]
Liberals’ nightmare: What if your son wanted to become a Navy SEAL?
S A T I R E Why trade mediocrity for American exceptionalism and a road less traveled?
Now that Pride Month is over, major corporations dial back from ‘ultra gay’ to ‘regular gay’
S A T I R E With Pride Month coming to a close, corporations are making preparations to return to their usual amount of gayness. “We’ll still be gay, but just baseline gay,” said Walgreens CEO Rosalind Brewer. “The volume will be turned down from eleven, but don’t be misled. We will still be awfully […]
Pizza collusion: Donald J Trump hit with yet another New York indictment
S A T I R E Former President Donald Trump continues to find himself on the receiving end of serious legal charges after being indicted in New York for eating pizza cooked in a wood-burning oven. “He must face justice for this heinous act,” said New York City Mayor Eric Adams. “Everyone knows wood-burning pizza […]
7 easy ways to pull off a massive international bribery scheme with total, absolute impunity
Not S A T I R E Maintaining an international bribery operation is hard work. Keeping the money flowing in without getting busted by the authorities can be tricky. Fortunately, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of helpful tips to get away with your foreign bribery scheme scott-free. Use your kindergarten-level painting skills […]
Regime journalism 101: Focus, focus, focus
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American dream: Restaurant owner retires to spend less time with his family
S A T I R E Babylon Bee: The owner of a local Chinese restaurant announced his retirement today, expressing his desire to step away from the daily grind and take the opportunity to spend far less time with his family. Li Jun Chao, the founder of Yum Yum Good Taste Chinese Restaurant, has run […]