S A T I R E
[Was it something she said?] Clothing retailer American Eagle’s new advertising campaign hit an unexpected obstacle today, as a federal judge ordered actress and new brand spokeswoman Sydney Sweeney to gain 100 pounds and get [fitted with a nose ring].
Judge Eileen Bauer, an Obama appointee to a D.C.-area district court, [objected to the company making an issue of Sweeney’s genes. When told the campaign was about “jeans” not genes, Bauer promptly dropped the hammer on American Eagle and] issued an emergency ruling that Sweeney pack on weight. ….
“This type of brazen attractiveness cannot be allowed to stand,” Bauer said in her ruling. “It is the responsibility of the court to hold corporations to a specific legal standard, which, in this case, means American Eagle is prohibited from featuring a thin, blonde, white woman in its advertisements. It is hereby the opinion of the court that Ms. Sweeney [at a minimum put on 100 pounds] or face disciplinary action.”
Legal analysts said the landmark ruling set an important precedent for both advertising standards and judicial authority. …. “Kudos to Judge Bauer for having the courage to stand up for the law and force this good-looking young woman to become less healthy and attractive.”
Bad jeans? Judge rules Sydney Sweeney must gain weight, get nose ring added by Editor One on
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