S A T I R E
In the wake of yet another assassination attempt on Donald Trump, the media conducted an emergency review of messaging strategies and promptly sought to assure Americans that the former president was to blame for continuing to incite violence against himself by surviving.
“The people getting shot at and murdered, they are the real threats,” explained CNN correspondent Dana Bash, who clarified her comments by adding: “I hope if Republicans manage to escape the guy shooting an AK-47, they will consider how hurtful their words can be. It is time the people with bullets whizzing over their heads tone things down.”
Other members of the media establishment were like minded, urging news personalities to remind viewers that former Republican Vice President Dick Cheney had emphasized Trump must be stopped by any means necessary and that such was the true message of love and unity.
This bipartisan messaging for national unity was reinforced by Hakeem Jeffries, the Democrat leader of the House who reminded the nation that crazed left-wing attempted assassins were the true victims.
“As the Democratic party of the United States, we hereby censure and condemn Donald J. Trump for consistently, audaciously, and shamelessly inciting violence by not dying,” Jeffries said.
2nd assassination attempt prompts bipartisan soul-searching by elites added by Editor One on
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